In some sex crimes, it’s clear that consent was never a consideration for the perpetrator. Yet many who face allegations of a sex crime thought they did have the other person’s consent or at least thought the other person would be OK with what was happening.
Getting clear consent is crucial to any activity of a sexual nature, no matter how well the people know each other or how long they have been together. It is the best way to avoid problems. Yet, a lot of people have not grown up understanding this. Sex was maybe never even discussed in their households or schools – the two places where people are meant to learn about how to be good citizens.
People often assume they have consent
A lot of people get their knowledge about how to conduct sexual relationships from the internet or peer groups. Unfortunately, a lot of what they encounter is wrong. They go away thinking that they don’t need spoken consent because they can infer it from how the woman looks at them or moves her body. Or, that she would speak up if she wasn’t happy with something and therefore must be fine with what’s happening when she says nothing. Or, that “no,” does not really mean “no.”
Many also grew up thinking that being in a relationship or married, or simply having engaged in certain activities with the person before makes it acceptable to do something or do it again.
Alcohol and drugs can make things even more complicated
Alcohol and drugs often lead to situations where people engage in sexual activity that they would not have when they were sober. It can also lead to poor memories of events the next day and uncertainty over whether consent was given and questions over whether a person was in a fit state to give it.
If you find yourself facing criminal accusations over actions you thought were consensual, you should seek legal guidance. This is not the sort of thing you can just hope will go away, or that you should try to deal with alone.